It all started with the hiccups.

Hiccups are my new and very vocal arch nemesis.

I have an assignment that I need to complete for my instrument design course that requires my to utilize the MAP procedure. I am pretty sure it has nothing to with a navigational piece of paper or the dorm I once resided in at Grove City College. Somehow knowing what it is not, is not that helpful in running the procedure. Why do I not know what the Minimum Average Partial Procedure entails and how to run it on SPSS?

Hiccups.

Even when I keep my lips pursed together, some amount of noise escapes and my shoulders seem to twitch. It is hard to sit in class when this is happening. My solution was to excuse myself to get some water and take a brief walk. I missed 5 minutes, only 300 total seconds of class, and now I don't know how to run a MAPP.

Probably next I will fail the class, and you will find me at the nearest Bob Evans because even with my enemy in tow, I can always fall back on my waitressing career. Oh wait.

Lessons Learned

Within this last week of the semester, I have been doing a lot of learning. All of this learning has increased the amount of stress and reduced the amount of time for trivial things.

As it turns out, some were not that trivial. In the spirit of sharing knowledge for the good of humanity, Febreeze is not a perfect substitute for washing clothes especially if the clothes are still on one's body as it induces itching and wet spots that take a while to dry.

Scary Beauty

Chief Hudd, our campus safety hero, sends email reports of the crime on campus. These are quite helpful in heightening my senses and giving words to my wild imagination when I am walking to my car in the dark. The dark has always frightened me; I can remember retrieving frozen ravioli from the freezer in the basement. I would carefully and slowly tip toe, quietly to the freezer and grab the ravioli. Slam the freezer lid and make a run for it, sprinting up the stairs to safety.

This evening I was walking to my car when I heard rustling. I saw a flash of white about 20 feet from me. Are these silly college kids streaking again? Or, is there a lightening fast predator waiting to do things to me that Chief Hudd will have to report to the entire campus? I gripped my keys tight, ready to use them as a weapon if need be. (That is actually not true. You know how when you are super scared and you grab whoever is closest? Well my keys were closest.) I considered my options: A.) running back to the office that may be locked, B.) running to my car up hill, and C.) acting normally. Due to poor choice of shoes and two bags full of work, I chose C. (Maybe guys invented heels so that they could catch us, ladies.)

I kept walking. Then, I saw them. I saw their white tails flash and heard their rustling as they moved. I was within feet of such beautiful creatures. It was breath-taking. The male's antlers acted as an enchanting wand, creating a majestic moment.

Happy Birthday Yajeev!

Today is a very special day in the blogosphere. It is the renowned Yajeev's birthday! He turns 29 today and regains moral superiority (based on his first criteria) over his wife (me) who is only 28. (He claims moral superiority is awarded to the individual in the comparison group with the most years on earth, and then in the case of ties, by total body girth.)

In order to celebrate this momentous day, his blogs have been compiled into a lovely keepsake edition entitled Land of Yajeev: The Early Years. This keepsake edition chronicles Yajeev's journey for the past two years. The paper version of the electronic bliss Yajeev dreams up is extremely useful for those of you who may suffer from Yajeev withdrawal when the pilot prohibits the use of all electronic devices or when you find yourself without your laptop in a restroom. (In the latter case, I recommend the entries found on pages 13, 18, and 59.)






You can purchase your very own copy of Land of Yajeev: The Early Years at http://www.lulu.com/content/4905071.

Enjoy all Yajeev lovers!

Happy birthday, Yajeev!

My Pet Monkey

It has been awhile since blogging. It turns out that grad school is a little more time consuming than summer vacation.

I have had the privilege to work on a writing study, and I have been grading at least a hundred writing samples. One particularly awesome essay extolled the virtues of getting a pet monkey.

"I had a monkey and I loved him because he scratches my butt and it feels good."

The next time you are trying to decide which pet to bring home, remember this second grader's advice. Everyone needs a pet monkey.

It's DiGiornos!

My lovely husband is not that good in the kitchen. From the Valentine's dinner that was too spicy hot to eat and burnt cookies to the rubber glove pan fire of 2007, my husband has a way with destroying food, pans, and kitchen utensils. Tonight on my way home from a late class, I called him suggesting we go out to celebrate my first day of work/school. The husband stated that he had a lot of work to do, but he would put a pizza in the oven, providing for his starving wife.

We went over the instructions together. Yes, I normally put it on foil on a cookie sheet. No, I don't wait for the oven to preheat. No, 6-8 minutes doesn't seem like the right amount of time. Oh... 6-8 inches from the bottom, yes, that sounds better. 19-21 minutes to bake is probably accurate. By the end of this conversation I was sure I would have dinner waiting for me when I got home.

Well, I did have dinner. Unfortunately, I left out an early detail in the process, how to remove the pizza from the box. He forgot to remove the cardboard piece from under the pizza, so every slice was cooked onto the cardboard. After scraping, prying, and sawing, we finally had dinner ready to consume. It wasn't delivery.

Chinchillas v. Alicia

Alicia Sacramone had a rough night in the gymnastic team finals. She fell off the beam and stumbled through her floor routine. At the end of the evening, she was being interviewed. Her beautiful brown eyes filling with tears as she explained how she cost America the gold. The reporter was relentless asking more questions than a trampled gymnast should ever have to answer.

At the end, the satisfied reporter sent it back to the anchor woman in the studio. She said that Alicia's parents had a really tough job tonight, trying to reassure their daughter of her inherent worth. Then she said this is probably when her parents wish they were raising chinchillas.



I am sure many chinchilla owners can be overheard saying, "Thank goodness I don't have an Olympic gymnast daughter. I have my chinchilla."

Likewise, I am sure Alicia's parents can be overheard whispering, "If we would have only given birth to chinchillas..."

Thank you anchor lady for such insight.